Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
