my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Dicks are not precious.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
