Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
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