Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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