Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
