I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
