this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
