Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
