ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
