i can't believe i had my finger in that
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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