when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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