So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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