I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize