he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
