I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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