ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
