I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
