ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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