you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize