I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
