I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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