She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
