we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
