I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i will never coherently bang her
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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