why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
