If i come over, it means nothing
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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