Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
