grandma shit on top of the toilet
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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