my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
