to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
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If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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