This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
