so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
