Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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