my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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