Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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