The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
