pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
