There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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