He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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