i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
