Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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