R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize