there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
