At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize
