Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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