if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
