YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
thus making me awesome and them whores
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
