So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
