I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
