the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Randomize
