Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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