so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
