Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
