And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
