There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I understand Curling. That high.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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