cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize