big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
