im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Randomize
