All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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